C’MON MILITARY BARBIE, LET’S GO TO WAR!
You may or may not be aware of one of the biggest movie releases of summer 2023 and its ties to the military. That’s right, Oppenheimer has finally made its explosive way to cinemas everywhere and the reviews are great. But outshining even the electric glow of nuclear mushroom clouds is the debut of Greta Gerwig’s Barbie film that was released on the very same day. However, did you know that Mattel’s pink icon has also donned camo? That’s right! It wasn’t simply a bold fashion statement either. Military Barbie is the real deal. She’s served in a variety of branches, defending our nation throughout the years! Oh yeah, and Ken enlisted too. Whatever. Related read: Oppenheimer: Who was the Father of the Atomic Bomb?
Hi Military Barbie, Uncle Sam Wants You!
Military Barbie serves her country proudly and has done so since 1989. Ken has also accompanied the Military Barbies, and we thank them both for their service. Notably, Barbie military dolls can be found in every branch of the American Armed Forces with the exception of the Coast Guard and U.S. Space Force. Having permission from the Pentagon, Barbie military clothes were fashioned and ready, and it was time to serve. Although to be fair, it’s a bit difficult to tell what her actual role was in the U.S. Army other than "being an Officer," which is a bit like the military equivalent of Ken's penchant for being great at "beach." In 1991, while the Gulf War was raging on, Military Barbie and Ken dolls were ready for service again. Barbara was a Pilot in the U.S. Air Force, United States Marine Corps Sergeant, and a Petty Officer in the Navy. A busy schedule for any service member. By the time 1992 rolled around, Military Barbie was once again an Officer in the U.S. Army and fighting in Desert Storm. Ken would end up serving in Desert Storm as well but as a USMC Sergeant. A year later, Barbie military dolls changed again. Although she was serving as a Medic for the Army, Barbara still found time to serve as a Thunderbird Pilot in the USAF. Though the timeline is a bit muddy, Ken also joined the Air Force during this period and would eventually also fly with the Thunderbirds. Most recently, after years of experience with aerial military operations, Military Barbie took on the intense role of paratrooper. It’s unclear if she deployed to Afghanistan or Iraq, but this is the last known military role her impressive service career would entail. Suggested read: A Complete Guide to the Military’s Life-Saving Silly String Strategy
Countless Barbie Careers Include Serving Her Nation
Owning a luxury dreamhouse in Malibu with a wardrobe even Fran the Nanny would be jealous of is great, but the lifestyle costs a pretty penny. That doesn’t deter Barbara Millicent Roberts as she is quite the ambitious woman who knows how to develop a ton of skills and get paid while doing it. There have been more than 200 Barbie careers held by Mattel’s iconic doll, and you've likely seen at least one example of how she represents her assigned roles. Each doll comes with the necessary clothing and accessories to assume a high-powered position within every new career, providing a wide range of options for storytelling and adventures. For example, Doctor Barbies come with lab coats and stethoscopes, whereas Barbie military dolls are prepared for war while donning the appropriate attire in accordance with their branch of service. Here's a look at some of the many careers Barbara has taken on over the years:
- Actor
- Aerobics instructor
- Aircraft engineer
- Animal rescuer
- Architect
- Army medic
- Art teacher
- Artist
- Astronaut
- Astrophysicist
- Avon representative
- Babysitter
- Bake shop worker
- Ballerina
- Ballet teacher
- Baseball player
- Basketball player
- Beach snack stand worker
- Beekeeper
- Bowler
- Boxer
- Business executive
- Café worker
- Cake baker
- Campaign fundraiser
- Campaign manager
- Canadian Mountie
- Candy and ice cream parlor worker
- Candy striper
- Carriage driver
- Cashier
- Cat burglar
- Cheerleader
- Chef
- Chemist
- Chief Sustainability Officer
- Circus performer
- Coffee shop worker
- Computer engineer
- Conservation scientist
- Construction worker
- Cooking teacher
- Cowgirl
- Crepe shop worker
- Dancer
- Dentist
- Department store worker
- Detective
- Doctor
- Dog daycare owner
- Dolphin trainer
- Drum majorette
- English language teacher
- Entomologist
- Entrepreneur
- Equestrienne
- Eye doctor
- Farmer
- Farmer's market stall owner
- Fashion boutique owner
- Fashion designer
- Fashion editor
- Fashion model
- Fashion trend forecaster
- Figure skater
- Figure skating coach
- Film director
- Film producer
- Firefighter
- Flight attendant
- Floral designer
- Florist
- Food truck operator
- Game developer
- Game show host
- Golfer
- Grocery store worker
- Gymnast
- Gymnastics coach
- Hockey player
- Ice cream cart owner
- Ice cream shop worker
- Interior designer
- Jillaroo
- Judge
- Lifeguard
- Magician
- Maid
- Make-up artist
- Marine biologist
- Martial artist
- Mary Kay consultant
- Matador
- Microbiologist
- Music producer
- Music teacher
- Musician
- News anchor
- Noodle bar worker
- Nurse
- Ocean treasure explorer
- Olympic athlete
- Outdoor beauty store worker
- Paleontologist
- Palmer's clothing store employee
- Paramedic
- Paratrooper
- Park ranger
- Pediatrician
- Pet boutique owner
- Pet groomer
- Photographer
- Photojournalist
- Pilot
- Police officer
- Race car driver
- Rapper
- Renewable energy engineer
- Restaurant owner
- Robotics engineer
- School teacher
- Science teacher
- Scuba diver
- SeaWorld trainer
- Secretary
- Shopkeeper
- Sign language teacher
- Singer
- Skateboarder
- Skier
- Smoothie bar worker
- Snowboarder
- Soccer coach
- Soccer player
- Space scientist
- Spanish language teacher
- Spy
- Starfleet engineering officer
- Student teacher
- Stylist
- Superhero
- Surgeon
- Swim teacher
- Swimmer
- TV news camerawoman
- Tennis coach
- Tennis player
- Tooth fairy
- Tour guide
- Track-and-field runner
- Train conductor
- Train hostess
- Travel agent
- UNICEF Ambassador
- United States Air Force Pilot
- United States Air Force Thunderbirds Pilot
- United States Army Officer
- United States Marine Corps Sergeant
- United States Navy Petty Officer QM1
- United States President
- United States Presidential candidate
- Usher
- Veterinarian
- Vice presidential candidate
- Volleyball coach
- Volleyball player
- Waitress
- Wild animal trainer
- Wilderness guide
- Wildlife conservationist
- Yoga teacher
- Zookeeper
- Zoologist
Does Military Barbie Have a Firearm?
No outfit is complete without the right accessories, but alas, it doesn’t look as if Military Barbies have a firearm. There are very practical reasons many will disagree with as to why this omission was made, but if Desmond Doss could get it done without a weapon, why not Barbie? The pink craze sweeping the world from Margot Robbie’s portrayal as the iconic title character is far from the only cinema outing that features the doll. Life-Size was at least adjacent to the toy, the Toy Story franchise featured her, there was a Top Gun Barbie to help promote the movie, and she even has her own catalog of films and tv shows for kids. It’s unclear whether or not there will be more films after Gerwig's but the Barbie movie has received very positive reviews, it's generated well over half a billion dollars so far, and who knows how much it increased toy and merchandise sales. Even so, there's no news yet that a sequel is in the cards. For now, we celebrate her legacy and thank Military Barbie for her service. Ken too, we suppose. Read next: The Game of Life From Milton Bradley was Popularized During the Civil War