The Whisky War: 49 Years of Good-Natured, Bloodless Conflict

“War,” as the legendary Civil War General William Tecumsah Sherman so eloquently put it, “is hell.” And boy, was he right. Like, 99.99% of the time. Because sometimes, very, VERY rarely, wars actually are not hell. Sometimes they can be downright fun. And not just “darkly funny” like the War of Jenkins' Ear or “embarrassingly funny” like Australia’s Great Emu War. On occasion, they can be downright charming and fun with no downsides whatsoever. And by “on occasion,” we mean just once. Because, as far as we can tell, only one war in human history has been fought with gifts, good humor, and even better vibes.

A five-decade spanning conflict between two nations with reputations for both military prowess and superhuman friendliness that ended without a shot being fired, but plenty of them drunk. This is the utterly delightful story of the Whisky War between Canada and the Kingdom of Denmark, the “friendliest war” ever fought.

The History of Hans Island

Roughly half a square mile in size, Hans Island (called Tartupalik, meaning “kidney-shaped,” by indigenous Greenlanders) sits smack in the middle of the Kennedy Channel, a thin strip of water separating northwestern Greenland from Canada’s Ellesmere Island.

Barren and rocky, it’s all but devoid of life and entirely uninhabited by human beings. Local fishermen occasionally used it as an anchorage or stopping point for a brief period, but it never housed any manner of settlement, temporary or otherwise.

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Arguably, the most significant thing that happened to Hans Island prior to the Whisky War was when the Hudson Bay Company purchased it on behalf of Canada in 1880.

The 1973 UN Agreement Between Canada and Denmark

The ownership of Hans Island mattered little to world affairs until December 17th, 1973, when Canada and Denmark, through the United Nations, signed an agreement formalizing the maritime border between the two countries (Greenland being an autonomous territory of the Kingdom of Denmark).

That agreement specifically left out Hans Island, declaring that the boundaries of the two nations ended on one side of the island and restarted on the other, leaving that otherwise unremarkable scrap of windswept rock in a sort of geopolitical limbo.

The Start of the Whisky War

While the 1973 agreement is considered the start of the Whisky War, the first strike did not occur until 1984 when Canadian troops landed on the island. Very, very briefly. Before departing, they raised the Canadian flag, wrote out a note welcoming any future visitors to Canadian territory, and left behind a bottle of Canadian whiskey.

Not long after word of this short-lived “invasion” reached the Danes, they sent their Minister of Greenland Affairs to “counterattack” in kind. After traveling to Hans Island, the Minister replaced the Canadian flag with that of Denmark, swapped the previous note with one welcoming any readers to Danish territory, and exchanged the bottle of whiskey for a bottle of schnapps.

The rules of war thus mutually established, the Whisky War began in earnest.

The End of the Whisky War

For the next thirty-eight years, Canada and Denmark continued this decidedly non-hostile manner of hostilities. Representatives and/or troops from one nation would visit the island to raise their country’s ensign and leave behind a bottle of local liquor, only for the other to respond in kind. On and on it went, a friendly spat between allies that many saw as an inspiring example of how nations can settle longstanding, territorial conflicts with patience and good humor.

An idea further reinforced when the Whisky War finally ended in 2022, not with an escalation of force or bitter standoff but a negotiated settlement to split sovereignty of Hans Island in half.

Representatives of the two warring nations finalized the deal on June 14th of that year with, what else, an exchange of bottles of liquor: maple whiskey from the Canadians, schnapps from the Danes. And thus ended the least hellish war in human history. May it serve as an example for future conflicts.